Walking in the wilderness
I arrived at church a little early for puppet practice and I was the first one there. Since I was the leader of our puppet group, I had been given a key to the church. Our group met before all the other activities started on Sunday nights. It was my first time using the key at this church and I had a sense of awe surrounding me. Going through the toughest part of my life I really didn’t feel I deserved an honor like this one. I could feel my hands shaking as I entered the sanctuary. I walked up to the stage and I placed my puppet plans right next to the pulpit which sat on that stage. I knelt down and looked up at the baptism tank. I then bowed my head to pray. Tears filled my eyes.
It was probably the moment I felt closest to God in my entire life. This wasn’t just a puppet group I going was to lead, I had done that several times before, it was the first steps out of the wilderness. Tough times are just part of life, but really tough times wear you down. They rob your soul of the confidence to take that next step. As I knelt, I knew I didn’t have that confidence that I needed to take that step. I needed His help and I needed it badly.
Looking back now, I see I needed that little puppet group far more than they needed me. It was the best group of kids I ever worked with and I’ve worked with some pretty amazing kids. I also learned that God knows there is a purpose for the wilderness years and if you really listen to Him and seek Him, He will know when it is the right time to leave the wilderness.
He had spent almost half his life in public service. He was tired and he wanted to go home. He felt he was the lone crusader to his cause and he was just tired of all the fighting. He had tried to resign several times before, but he always seemed to get talked out of it. Besides, he was nearly broke and needed to go back home and make a living. So when his latest resignation was finally accepted, he climbed on his horse and he headed home. I’m sure, when riding away, he looked back with fond and revolutionary memories.
As he got closer to his mountain retreat, I’m sure big plans for the place entered his mind. Then, as he approached the property, he noticed how run down the place had actually gotten. After all, no one takes as good of care of something as the owner does. Without any money he probably wondered what he would or could do.
He was a farmer, but he was always open to new ideas. In his many travels throughout the world he noticed and took notes on how others found success in their farming ventures. Borrowing some money, he divided out his fields into sections and he began a revolutionary idea called crop rotation. This would help to keep the land fertile. Yes, returning to the life of farming was a great idea. He had great success and could see a future of happiness in front of him far from the life of politics he left behind.
He was probably a craftsman just like his father. If you would have been alive when he walked the earth, you may have purchased a table he made or he may have helped build the house you lived in. Just like anyone else, I’m sure what he spent at the market depended on how much money he had at his disposal at the time. I’m sure some weeks were leaner than others and I really doubt he ever made a fortune.
At some point in this young man’s life came a time when he felt he needed to convert his life into something more. There had to be more to life than worrying about going hungry. There had to be greater goals than piling possessions and living in the tallest castle. There had to be more than having a lot of friends and having everyone look up to you. Peace, inner peace, never seemed acquired by those things. Other’s lives seem to possess those qualities everyone sought, yet they still never really seemed deeply satisfied. He knew that he could continue living the same life and he could have probably done really well, but there also seemed to be an internal nagging inside him that sensed that he was called to do more.
His farm was starting to go just like he always thought it was capable. What’s more, he was enjoying his life. The pressures that plagued him before just weren’t there anymore.
The political world he left was missing a voice and leadership he seemed to possess. He was the balance on the other side of the scale that kept things level. So many battles had been fought to get our country where it was and now, without him, it appeared to be returning to the old way of doing things. His friends and supports were very discouraged and did not see how they could fight off the other side’s forceful hand. They needed someone to go talk to him. They needed someone to convince him to come back and lead the charge to help make this a better republic. They turned to his best friend.
Our Bible character turned to a good friend, who happened to be a relative, too. The relative preached of a life much better than possessions or popularity. It was here the transformation began.
After leaving his relative he began a journey of struggle. It was a deep struggle. He started to become very hungry and I’m sure it reminded him of the days where there was very little work and therefore very little food. “What if you never had to worry about being hungry again? All you have to do is to take advantage of the system that was placed before you,” said the struggle.
What about God? “Oh, the conscience and the heart will only slow down your happiness. Look out for yourself and become your own god. Yes, throw away all that faith stuff and do what’s best for you,” said the struggle.
The things of the world were presented to him in an awfully tempting manner, too. “All the riches of the world could be yours. All you had to do was devote all your time and all of your heart into acquiring them. Don’t worry about anyone else, this is all about your happiness,” was struggle’s claim.
James Madison headed up to Monticello to talk to his good friend, Thomas Jefferson. He told him how the Federalists were turning our new little country back into a monarchy. “They believe they possess all the wisdom and they fail to listen to the people,” Madison would add. Jefferson’s inner thoughts probably rumbled with ideas like: everyone fought for this freedom; everyone deserved a voice. Jefferson would leave his paradise wilderness and return to the rough and tumble political stage. I believe our country was better because of that move.
Sometimes I think we forget that Jesus came to this earth as a regular man. After all, He was about thirty years old when He actually started His ministry. He grew up and had a job, just like all of us. He knew what it was like to stretch out a paycheck when times were hard. He saw people who had a “better” life than He did. When He went into the Wilderness to be tempted, He was tempted by things that were really real to Him and to us. There was hunger (turn these stones to bread). There was advice to ignore his spiritual convictions because they don’t get you anywhere (jump off the Temple roof, God will save You). And of course, there was the thought of looking out for one’s self because that is the real secret of getting ahead (Satan saying to bow to him just “once” and all the world could be His).
Thomas Jefferson needed the wilderness years to refresh, but, when pressed he knew he had a greater calling. Jesus needed the wilderness days to separate the worldly from the spiritual. I needed the wilderness years to truly realize that God is the great I Am.
Prayer: : Dear Mighty Father, Working through my wilderness was rough. At times I felt I was battling it alone. Of course, in those times, I never had the good sense to look up and see that You were always there. Thanks for never giving up on me! Amen.
