Ego
“For the day of the LORD of hosts shall be upon every one that is proud and lofty, and upon every one that is lifted up—and he shall be brought low….” Isaiah 2:12 KJV
Personally, I think we all have a little bit of an ego. I don’t think our egos are necessarily evil, it’s just when our egos consume us that it becomes a problem. When you describe someone as having a “big ego,” it’s not usually meant as a compliment.
If you didn’t have at least a little bit of an ego, nothing would hurt you nor would something easily motivate you. Someone could say something to you or about you that wasn’t very nice, or true, and you would probably just shrug your shoulders. Not that searching for compliments or pats on the back should be the main reason we do things, but it does help knowing you have had a positive impact on someone else. Someone encouraging our egos a little bit can even help us try a little harder, sometimes.
An ego can sometimes stand in the way of us accomplishing things, though. We worry when we won’t get the credit, or worse yet, someone else gets credit for something we have done. When this happens, we become more important than the project. Our feelings get hurt when we work hard on something and no one notices.
I once had a fellow coworker that was working with me on winning over one of his large contractors. They were using another brand of water heaters and this would be a huge win for our water heater numbers.
Since I was in charge of water heater sales for our company, in the northern part of our state, I was sure a win like this would catch our owner’s attention. So I went to work on the potential customer. My fellow coworker introduced me to the decision maker.
I made several visits to this customer, who was actually two hours from my house. Eventually I was able to develop a relationship with the customer and I gathered a little more information. I found out the models they used and worked on the pricing.
Finally, I got a package together with the program we could offer him. We had a few minor adjustments, but we were able to get a deal together and they started buying a lot of water heaters from us.
Imagine my surprise when my fellow coworker sent out a mass company email to announce winning over this large contractor. One of the best lines of the email stated, “I would like to thank myself, the owner, and Wayne for all their hard work to make this happen.” His “thank you” was in that exact order: himself, the owner of the company, and me.
Never before, or since, had I heard anyone thank themselves. Even if he wanted to thank himself, you would have thought he would have at least mentioned himself last.
Before we get too hard on my coworker, I wonder how many of us actually do that all the time. We just don’t do it out loud or in an email. Whether you do it out loud, in an email, or just in your head, you probably have an inflated ego of your importance.
Many of us see a President and think of him as a strong, confident, and cocky fellow who always thinks he’s right. It’s easy to see why we might think that. Most of them are quick to replace members of the previous administration or those who disagree with their policies. I guess that is one reason we elect them, to put someone else, who has different ideas, in there.
Can you just imagine what a President who is wishy-washy is like? Even the Presidents we don’t like, who we think are destroying our nation, or who just aren’t good at the job, are usually pretty aggressive with their agendas. This is especially true of the modern Presidents.
This hasn’t always been the case. A few of the pre-Civil War Presidents were what most historians would call weak. Franklin Pierce and James Buchanan are two that definitely come to mind. They pretty much chose to do nothing, where a strong leader might have more aggressively tried to calm the waters with action instead of just handing it off to others or doing nothing at all.
Typically, those Presidents with the biggest egos stand out the most:
George Washington – A huge ego that he often hid behind a shield of modesty. When he got his feelings hurt, because he wanted everyone to think highly of him, it really challenged his sense of self-worth.
John Adams – He may have had the biggest Presidential ego that no one liked. Prone to pouting fits when he didn’t get his way, he was often the butt of many jokes.
Thomas Jefferson – The crown for the sneakiest Presidential ego might belong to him. He preferred to do his ego-building behind peoples’ backs. He was pretty good at this, but when he did get caught, he would just take his toys and head home.
Andrew Jackson – Jackson was the Donald Trump of his day. Steamrolling his opinions over those who didn’t agree with him, he would be just as happy pulling out a gun to eliminate you as he would debate you to change your mind.
Martin Van Buren – His philosophy was to destroy you before you even knew what was happening. A diehard opponent of the Erie Canal, he tried to take credit for it once he saw how popular it was. Many suffered his wrath as he tried to destroy the project.
John Tyler – “What do you mean I’m just an acting President?” seemed to be his rallying cry when William Henry Harrison died and he became President. Forget doing anything Harrison’s way either, he knew what was best.
James K. Polk – They didn’t call him Young Hickory for nothing. He was probably a more classy, modest version of Old Hickory, Andrew Jackson. Things like Manifest Destiny got easily pushed through during his one term.
The call came for this Biblical character. His big break was here and boy was he excited. It shouldn’t have been any surprise to him. After all, he had worked very hard to get where he was. The church leaders had given him his own project and he was eager to prove he deserved their confidence.
He packed his bags and called on a few of his companions to travel along with him. There was definitely a little more pep in his step. Before they left he called a little meeting. He wanted to make sure they knew he was in charge, but he also wanted them to be excited about the trip.
So they all picked up their suitcases and started heading down the road. It was a beautiful day. The sun shined brightly. He knew what he needed to do and he also knew he was the perfect man to do it.
He had it all planned out. It must be God’s plan because no one could feel this good about something if it wasn’t what God wanted. Right? Over and over again, in his head, he played out the victorious return he was expecting. And, oh the people, especially those higher up church people, would be cheering for him when he got back home.
One of the main problems he faced was that he just couldn’t get there soon enough. Yes, they were going as fast as they possibly could, but it still felt like it was taking way too long. When you are a man on “God’s mission” you don’t have time to wait for anything that might stand in your path forward.
Impatience is one of the most damaging things to happiness. Wanting it now is like planting a seed and wanting to harvest the crop the next week. All that does is breed frustration. Getting upset doesn’t make it grow any faster.
Here are some more thoughts on Presidential egos:
Abraham Lincoln – Most would put him on top of Presidential models for egos. Most research tends to suggest that might have been a cover to the depression spells he would get into. But to see him work his magic, he usually left his ego at the door.
Ulysses S. Grant – Quite possibly the most mystifying of the Presidential egos. Other than his stint as commanding general during the latter parts of the Civil War, his life seemed to be filled with one failure after another. During the Civil War he had an “Unconditional Surrender” moniker attached to his name, so you know there had to be some kind of ego in there somewhere.
Chester Arthur – Growing up poor wasn’t a badge of honor he was proud he overcame. As his finances increased, he made sure everyone knew he wasn’t part of that poorer sect anymore. It is said that he was one of the more dapper Presidential dressers.
Teddy Roosevelt – There is no doubt that he probably had the biggest Presidential ego. Alice Roosevelt, his daughter, once said, “My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”
Calvin Coolidge – He might have had the coolest Presidential ego. Most of the time he didn’t think the conversation was worth his input. When you have the nickname “Silent Cal,” there is just a certain aura that you’re the biggest personality in the room.
Franklin Roosevelt – When you try to single-handedly fill the entire Supreme Court with people who will only issue the decisions you want, now that is a huge ego. People bought into this bigger than life ego, though. He is the only President elected to four terms.
Harry Truman – When the banner you carry states, “the buck stops here,” there is not too much higher of an ego that you can have.
Lyndon Johnson – Perhaps the most bullying of the Presidential egos. He was never beyond pulling out all the stops to get you to vote his way. He was the man, he knew how you should vote, and he was going to make you vote that way or you were going to suffer the consequences.
Richard Nixon – “I am the President and that means you do what I say,” seemed to be his theme, regardless of whether it was legal or not.
Ronald Reagan – To be a movie star you have to have a little bit of an ego. But being an actor also afforded him the talent of hiding the fact that it was his ego that often drove him.
Bill Clinton – He had the ultimate macho ego that I don’t think any other President could match. It’s almost like he thought having a big ego was a chick magnet.
Barack Obama – Cool is the best way to describe his ego. His swagger often entered the room even before he arrived. How can anyone win a Nobel Peace Prize at forty-eight-years old and only being in office nine months? Someone with a cool ego, that’s how.
Donald Trump – Whether you like him or not, his ego has definitely upset the applecart of Presidential egos. His “bigger than life” ego has impressed half the citizens of this country and disgusted the other half.
Well, our Bible character was making some pretty good time. It was the heat of the day, though. The sun was shining brightly. Then, out of nowhere, a flash of light crossed his path. Funny thing, I’m not sure any of his companions saw it, but he did.
It was so bright that it caused him to fall to the ground and shield his eyes. “Is it over? Is it over?” he yelled to his companions. Dumbstruck, they had no idea what he was talking about. “Are you okay?” they asked.
Slowly he pulled his head up and removed his hands which had shielded his eyes. He still couldn’t see. Thinking that rubbing his eyes would help, he soon realized that wasn’t doing any good. He rubbed harder. Still, no luck. The blindness would not go away.
Suddenly he heard a voice. Clearly he could hear a voice shouting, “Why in the world are you doing this to me?” Surprised he responded, “Who are you?” His companions heard a sound but they didn’t make out any actual words.
Saul, who would turn into Paul, clearly heard the voice respond to him, “I’m Jesus, the one you have been looking for. Since it appears that I am in total control here, I want you to get up and go into town. I’ll tell you what to do after you get there.”
I’m not sure Paul’s companions knew what to do after Saul was blinded on the road to Damascus, but the next thing we know, in the story, is that he is sitting in a room blind. He would sit there for three days. This was kind of putting a big kink in his journey to do “God’s will.”
As much as we see God’s efforts to get Saul on the right path, imagine being Ananias. God basically tells Ananias, “Hey, Ananias, I want you to go over to Damascus. See, there is this fellow over there I need you to help. His name is Saul.”
Ananias is a bit confused. He says, “This isn’t that same Saul that the Chief Priest has sent our way to kill us, is it?” “Sure is, and I want you to go help him. See, I blinded him and I want you to go lay healing hands on him so he can see again,” God answered.
“You can’t be serious. Once he sees me, I’m a goner,” Ananias continues. God replies, “Are you arguing with me? You know better than to argue with me. I personally picked Saul to do something special for me. I want him to speak up for Me to not only the Jews, but to the non-Jews and even kings.”
The Bible ends Ananias and God’s conversation there. We don’t know if Ananias just left or if the conversation went on for a little bit. The next verse just says he went.
If it were me, I think I would be doing a lot of thinking on my way to Damascus. Here are a few of the thoughts that might be running through my mind:
• Did God really say go help Saul? I probably just misheard Him.
• You know, I’m not really qualified for this job. God probably has someone better than me for it or at least He should send me help.
• This is really upsetting to me. I think God wants me to just be happy. This isn’t making me happy.
• Oh, God is just testing my faith. I’m really not going to meet Saul. He wouldn’t really put me in harm’s way.
• I sure hope Saul isn’t there when I get there. Then I can say, “At least I tried.”
• I hope I have all my final arrangements in order.
We wake up every morning. After a cup or two of coffee, our ego starts to wake up, too. Our first thoughts turn toward how this day is going to affect us or what we have to do. Our previous night’s sleep might have been interrupted by thoughts of something that may have happened to us the day before or something else we were worrying about.
Stop and think about it for just a moment. Think about the word “I.” Now, take “I” out of all your thoughts. What’s left? Sadly, if you are like me, there is not much left. Sure we want to sound like we care about others, and we often really do, but if there was nothing there stroking even just a little bit of our ego, we are probably going to find an excuse not to do it.
I don’t think anyone can totally ignore themselves, nor do I think God wants you to have no regard for anything personal. He has given you likes, dislikes, temperament, talents, and yes, even that ego, to help you better gauge how to use the gifts He has given you. The problem arrives when our first thoughts turn to ourselves and not what, or who, God has placed in front of us.
The ego is really a tender thing. If you look over the list of the above Presidents, you will see many of their egos could often be hurt by outside influences. Those precious egos needed to be rubbed for them to have the confidence they needed to be an influence.
Still other Presidents on the list had very stubborn egos. Their egos were, or are, cemented in place by their opinions and nothing is going to convince them there is any other way than theirs for things to be done. To them, things like listening, compassion, or even acknowledging others have rights to express themselves, too, have no place in the discussion.
Other Presidents seem to express their egos as something they earned. They worked real hard to be who they are or where they are. They don’t want to go back to the land of unpopularity and they are sure their entertaining personalities will win anyone over. “You can’t deflate my ego, because I will just keep pumping air into it,” could be their thought process.
The very root of all three of those types of egos has one similar focus: themselves. Much like Saul’s, before he became Paul, life. It’s easy to think you’re right, it’s harder to wait for God to tell you what He thinks is right.
Sometimes God’s will requires us checking our ego at the door, like Lincoln. Sometimes God’s will requires us to help others who we struggle to understand why God puts in our path, like Ananias. But the first step to God’s will is to realize it is not always about us.
Try replacing some of those selfish ego boosts with God-enhancing ego boosts. Here are some ideas:
• Do something nice for someone and then leave before they have a chance to say thank you.
• Get down on a kid’s eyelevel and talk to them. This way they won’t strain their necks looking up at you.
• Find ten shiny pennies. Throughout your day strategically place them where they can easily be found. Place them heads up for those who believe that is even better luck. Even those who don’t pick them up will probably feel better just because they saw them.
• The next time you go out to eat, tip a huge amount, but leave before you get to see the waitress’ or waiters’ reaction. Remember you are doing it for God and not your own satisfaction or credit.
• Find someone who has the opposite opinion as you do on some matter. Just listen, I mean really listen, to them without offering your own opinion. It might not change your mind on the subject, but I bet it will gain you a little respect from the other person. Besides, some battles aren’t ours to win, they’re the Lord’s to win.
• Don’t be afraid to use words like “thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “how can I help,” “that’s a good point you raised,” as well as countless other ones that show you care. There are no limits to the number of times you can use them. You get all of them you can ever use.
We could go on and on, but you get the point. Your ego is like a muscle, it needs to be exercised so it can perform at its best. Don’t let your ego become one of those lazy ones that just thinks about itself. Instead, practice using your ego God’s way. Before you know it, it will become natural for you. You will find that when God wins, everybody wins.
Prayer: Dear Mighty Father, Oh that mighty ego of mine. Help it to be a better reflection of You and not my own selfish celebration. Amen.
