But I’m Your Biggest Fan
The father stood looking out the window. His reflection exposed the loss he was feeling. He had so much to offer, but the opportunity was quickly slipping away. Memories of days gone by filled his head. Why didn’t his child understand? Had his child forgotten their days together?
As the first born child there was much excitement surrounding his birth. There were many smiles and giggles from almost all this child’s movements and sounds. Everyone wanted to hold the child. And the father stood there with pride, unmatched by any other time in his life. The world was such a perfect place.
Then the world came rushing into this little family’s life. The father’s love never wavered. Yet, day by day love began to be withheld from this father. Eventually this family would split apart. Of course, it was just a trial at first, but little by little, the closeness each member felt began to change. Soon the child would only see the father every once in a while. This is nothing like what the father hoped would happen.
The father worked the best he could with the system of others choosing. He enjoyed the time he had with his child. He planned things to do with child. He also wanted to be part of the child’s life and growth. He encouraged the child to develop into the young man he hoped he would become. He encouraged friendships in his neighborhood. He introduced him to other lands and other hobbies. Although the situation wasn’t perfect, the father really enjoyed what time he had with his son.
It didn’t take the son long to realize the endless love his father had for him. Slowly the son translated this love as a need more desirable to the father than to him. He began testing the limits of the father’s love. The son also knew he had another life, another family, he could turn toward. What did the father have, but him? Soon the son took chances with their relationship. The son also became more demanding and controlling.
I’m sure the son never realized that the father understood him better than he ever imagined. The harder the father tried, the more the son thought he had the upper hand. The father soon realized his presence wasn’t helping his son’s growth. To the son’s surprise, the father let the son walk away. The son always thought the father had more to lose than he did. The father’s heart broke because it was obvious to him that his son didn’t understand that love and relationships weren’t all about what you could get out of them. It is also about what you can give them.
The Marble Heart was a play written by Charles Selby. It was also known as the “The Sculptor’s Dream.” Raphael is the main character. He is a sculptor that lives with his mother. One day a homeless woman, Marie, faints from hunger at their front door. Raphael and his mother carry Marie into the house, care for her, and nurse her back to health. Marie begins to fall in love with Raphael, but Raphael never really develops any interest in Marie.
One day Raphael starts sculpting a beautiful woman named Marco. He falls in love with Marco. But Marco also has another suitor, a very rich man who can offer her all kinds of jewels. Raphael’s friend warns him that Marco doesn’t have the same feelings for him. Raphael refuses to believe his friend. The friend then exposes their love. His friend shows him Marco in the rich man’s embrace. At first Raphael tries to fight the rich man to win Marco’s affection, but he soon realizes that is fruitless. He returns home devastated.
When Raphael arrives home he falls into a deep sleep. He dreams he is back in Roman times. He is a sculptor there, too. He is hired by a rich man to sculpt a beautiful statue of a woman. When he completes his project, everyone is amazed, including himself, by his creation. When the rich man comes to claim his statue, the sculptor decides he wants to keep the statue for himself. The rich man argues that he has paid for the statue and therefore it is his. The sculptor offers to return the money, but the rich man refuses. They decide to call a council to determine who should keep the statue.
The sculptor argues that the statue should be his because he really loves the statue with his all his heart. He claims that the rich man only wants to possess the statue. The rich man argues that he can take better care of the statue. He even adorns the statue with jewels. The council basically laughs off the sculptor’s argument. “The statue with a marble heart can’t really tell what love is,” they state. The sculptor is devastated. Raphael then awakens from his dream.
Raphael is now ill and depressed. Marie, the homeless girl, is now taking care of him. Raphael arises and goes in the room where he has the statue of Marco. He takes a sledge hammer to it and destroys it. Raphael’s friend and Marie rush in to find him hugging the legs of the statue, which is the only part of the statue not destroyed. They return Raphael to the couch to rest. Somehow, Marco comes out of the statue room as Marie and Raphael’s friend are trying to comfort him. On the silent movie version, the next thing that pops up is: The End.
Everyone had advice for the father. Some can’t believe the son’s treatment of the father. After all, the father didn’t do anything to the son but love him. Some thought the father should do this or that. The father listened patiently, but he also knew the heart of the son. He also understood that for the relationship to really work, the son had to want to return to the father. Guilt wouldn’t do it. Arguing wouldn’t do it. Chasing after the son wouldn’t do it. Giving into all the son’s demands wouldn’t do it. No, the son had to want to have the father in his life. The son had to miss the father as much as the father missed the son. So the father waits.
He is perhaps the most famous actor in all history. His father was a Shakespearean actor from Britain. His mother was his father’s mistress and they came to America together. Many might argue that his brother, Edwin, was the better actor, but today few even remember his brother’s name.
The young actor made his debut at Baltimore’s Charles Street Theatre at the age of seventeen years old as the Earl of Richmond in Richard III. He was almost booed and hissed off the stage because he kept forgetting his lines. He got better and better and once he found his footing, and his good looks didn’t hurt, he became an actor whose demand soared during his acting career.
It was at a performance of The Marble Heart that our President first saw him in Washington DC. He had a front row seat right at stage level. The President was amazed by the young actor’s talent and even asked if he could meet him. The actor found some excuse to avoid the introduction. The President would even invite the actor to the White House. Again, the actor found excuses why he couldn’t attend.
Abraham Lincoln was one of actor John Wilkes Booth’s biggest fans. Lincoln couldn’t wait for Booth’s performance as Raphael in The Marble Heart on November 9, 1863. It is said that during one part of the play, Booth even pointed his finger at Lincoln as he delivered one of his lines. The President probably felt very special, but by this time Booth had developed a real hatred of Lincoln.
In less than a year and a half, on Good Friday, April 14, 1865, Lincoln would attend another play, Our American Cousin, at the same theatre: Ford’s Theatre in Washington DC. Booth would not be in that play, but he was in Washington at the time. When he went to retrieve his mail at the theatre he was informed that President Lincoln would be attending that night. Lincoln would be sitting in the box above where he saw Booth perform in The Marble Heart. Lincoln would finally have the opportunity to be within a handshake’s distance of his idol, but he would never know it. As Lincoln sat watching the stage and enjoying the show, his hero walked into the booth where he was sitting, without Lincoln even noticing him. John Wilkes Booth would shoot Lincoln in the back of the head. Lincoln would die the next day. Booth would be tracked down in Virginia and he would be killed eleven days later. Booth would now become the most famous actor in history, but he wouldn’t be known for his acting skills. John Wilkes Booth will be forever known as the man who killed America’s favorite President.
Many, many years ago I would be sitting at my desk. My life was in ruins and I didn’t know where to turn. Things seem to be going fine. I was making my life work for me. Then the bottom dropped out. I tried to make things work, but the more I tried the worse they seem to get. “I can fix this,” I thought. Soon I had many people involved in my life giving me more advice than I knew what to do with. I was angry. I was hurt. Like most people I looked for someone to blame. I chose to blame my Father, God. How could He let this happen?
As I sat at that desk that day, it occurred to me God was nowhere to be found. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it had been quite some time since I last heard from God. No wonder my problems were so bad, God left me here with this big mess I called life. No wonder I was angry. But on this day things were different. It was like a cool, calming wind on a very hot summer day. Emotions seemed to be replaced by reason.
That day I thought back of my youth and the times at church, when I was happy. If I knew an answer to a question in Sunday School or I stepped forward first in a Bible Drill, I could almost sense God’s pride. I thought of the neighbors He introduced me to through friendships and Bible characters. I thought of the many lands He helped me explore through vacations or readings. I thought of all the hobbies and interests, like sports and stamp collecting, that He introduced me to. As I grew, my blessings came not only through my own efforts, but from His loving arms.
Then the biggest fact of all overcame me: My Father, God, never walked away from me; I walked away from Him. I decided I could do it all on my own. Of course, I dropped by for a visit every once in a while, but soon, even that stopped. On that day I realized I needed my Father again. But would he even take me back?
My Father never asked for an apology, He was just glad I was back. Yes, on that day, God taught me what love was all about.
Sometimes God, our Father, is like the Father standing at the window wondering why His children have left Him. He knows us so much better than we sometimes know ourselves. He also understands that relationships are a two way street and sometimes He realizes that we must walk that scary street alone until we realize it is a much better trip when two make it together.
Prayer: Dear Mighty Father, Sometimes my heart is like that of a marble statue. Sometimes I look up to the wrong people or the wrong things. Sometimes I think I know how to run my life without You. Thanks for forgiving me and taking me back even though I did not deserve it. Amen.
