The Twirling Cup
“He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” Matthew 10:39 KJV
The other day my son-in-law sent me some amazing pictures of a little outing he had with my grandson. My step-daughter had gone away for a little break with some of her friends. This left some moments for some father-son time.
My son-in-law decided to take Roman, our grandson, to one of those restaurants that had several kiddie rides inside. One of the pictures he sent was actually a little movie. On this one Roman was on one of the Twirling Cups that goes round and round.
I was watching Roman’s reaction to the ride and it really tugged at my heart. When the ride started, little three-year-old Roman was a little unsure of what to expect. As the cup neared the three quarter’s position, Roman actually had his back to his Dad. Quickly, Roman turned his head around to make sure his Dad was still there.
It didn’t take Roman long to realize that this was a really fun ride. Ever the jokester, when Roman would get to the three-quarter’s position, he would wave at his Dad and say, “Bye, bye Daddy,” but he still would turn his head around quickly to make sure his Dad was still there.
Eventually, Roman was secure enough to know that his Dad was going to be there when the cup turned around so he could see him. So, Roman got to the point where he would say, “Bye, bye Daddy,” and not look back.
For a moment I imagined myself in Roman’s shoes. I remembered some of those moments from my childhood where I was lucky enough to have a Dad who would play with me and give me a little attention now and then. There were fishing trips where he taught me to fish, chess games he never let me win, and basketball games in which I always seemed to be on the losing end. Another thing I remember was going to work with him in his bread truck.
My Dad was never much of a reader, but there is one word I never misspell because he taught me to spell it. His method might be one of the reasons I have a hard time reading out loud today.
Dad taught me a trick and it was not by pronouncing the word out loud. The word was “together.” He said to remember how to spell it by putting “to,” “get,” and “her” together.
Of course, you don’t pronounce together: to-get-her. Still, I have not forgotten it to this day. When I read, I can identify words rather easily (using association), but I’m still not very good with pronouncing some words the proper way.
Why is it that I remember things like that? Well, I believe it is that when I was younger, I was looking for someone to be proud of me. I wanted someone to want to enjoy being with me. Security was something I knew I needed, but I wasn’t sure how to obtain it. I needed someone to look up to and to know that they were always going to be there to take care of me. My Dad was all those things.
When we become adults, I’m not sure those feelings ever really go away. It is just different people or different things we look to for filling those feelings. If our parents are still around, we might look there, but often they are starting to have their own issues and they just can’t fill that same role.
Still, other times it might be a boss or a job. We invest so much into those, at the expense of other things. This seems to be a never-ending quest that just leaves us trying harder and just getting even more frustrated. Then, one day, to our surprise, someone younger or a new owner, or boss, comes along and all our efforts are soon forgotten.
Sometimes we look to our kids, or grandkids, to fill that role. We want to be the best parent, or grandparent, ever. Analyzing our every move, we come down on ourselves when we are not perfect. “We messed up our kid’s lives” or “we’re not doing enough for our grandkids,” thoughts rumble in our head. Then a divorce, or other event, comes and splits up our, and our kids’, or grandkids’ perfect world. “Those kids are never going to think I was a good parent, or grandparent” thoughts fill our heads.
Friends are great to have around. If you find a truly great friend, you have found someone you can always rely on. They make you feel good and they are fun to do things with. As you get older it gets harder and harder to spend time with them. Family, the job, one or the other of you moves away, or a host of other reasons causes those changes.
So that little boy, even as an adult, is on the cup ride, and he keeps looking back. Sometimes the Dad is still there and sometimes he’s not. Yet he keeps getting on the ride hoping that one day that person will always be standing there.
One of the somewhat rare traits to find in a President is having them come from a privileged family. You do have the well-known ones like Washington and the Roosevelts (Teddy and Franklin), that came from better off families but then you have the ones that were raised up in families that were poor, like Jackson, Lincoln, and Eisenhower.
Sometimes being raised in a privileged family, a President might develop an elite attitude. John Adams, like many Federalists of his day, thought there should be an elite class who should “rule over” those less fortunate. That’s why they were rather choosy in who could and couldn’t vote. Very few “citizens” were given this right when we started out as a country.
Thomas Jefferson might have been the first President to believe the voting class was too elite of a group. He would try to change that. His success was still very limited, though. It seems, to this very day, we are still fighting the battles of citizen’s rights and who they actually belong to.
I’m not going to go over the whole list of Presidents and the effects they had on our or others’ lives. You just need to look to the news to see that none of their efforts has been lasting. Today, we’re practically at each other’s throats as to whether this President or that President is the greatest savior of our democracy or if they are the greatest demon decked out with the shiniest pitchfork and sharpest horns.
Why have we fallen so far and why is there such a great divide among us? I believe it is because we have become a nation of teacup riders.
The Bible is filled with stories of people being on a type of cup swirling adventure. They are looking for that someone or something to trust with their security. Their worlds are filled with attempts to get someone to notice them or to make them feel like they make a difference.
Adam looked to Eve. Cain got upset because Abel seemed to be getting more of God’s attention or blessings. Abraham got wrapped up in the fact that he didn’t have any kids. Joseph thought a coat distinguished his value.
Then Moses thought he could push “God’s will” and he killed a man hoping to seal his place in Israelite history. That plan totally backfired and he trotted off to the woods to pout.
David basically let his son Absalom walk right over top of him because he was afraid he might lose Father of the Year honors. Saul, who turned into Paul, thought he was going to get a great promotion because he held the coats of some of his fellow coworkers, or religious leaders. He probably watched in glee as they stoned that rebel Christian Stephen.
James’ and John’s mother pleaded with Jesus for a prominent place next to Jesus because of the excellent job her sons were doing with His mission. Jonah sulked because God didn’t just kill off those pesky people of Nineveh.
Over and over again the Bible seems to be one story after another of individuals wanting to just enjoy a teacup ride. They also wanted God to be standing there for them no matter if they were doing His will or not.
When I snapped out of my little reminiscing trance, my thoughts turned to my son-in-law or the Dad standing there watching the twirling cup go around. I think about him for a moment. The role he plays keeps going around and around in my mind. He’s not in the cup, he’s there to be an inspiration for the little guy enjoying the cup ride.
Too often, when we become adults, all our thoughts are focused on being on the cup ride. We are so focused on the effects of the things and people have on us that we forget about the effects we have on things and people. It’s like we only want to be there to get on the ride.
At some point, you have to get off the ride. If you have to get off the ride, why not be an inspiration to someone getting on the ride? Why not be the parent your kid needs, the friend someone else needs, or the mentor a fellow coworker might need?
A very strange thing happens when you do this. You stop being so self-focused. Looking for things that make you happy becomes less important than helping someone else. Pride stops being something you’ve done but something you see someone else do and knowing you might have played a small part in their accomplishment.
You might also notice that you are taking less selfies and bragging about yourself less. Feeling better about yourself and your life replaces the worry. Another funny things happens, you stop thinking you aren’t doing enough and you start enjoying the time and the things you are doing.
One of the biggest problems of the Presidency today is that the President has to spend so much time in front of the camera explaining himself or his actions. The President has become more of a celebrity than a leader. Who’s to blame for that? We are.
We want a hero to combat the evil forces we see. The problem is, not all of us see the same things as being the evil forces. Who’s right? We are, at least in our minds. In other words, we all want to be on the teacup.
Sadly, Presidents who exhibit traits that probably could change all this, rarely get elected or reelected. Too many Presidents today only want to listen to those who support them or their ideas. They surround themselves with “yes men” who will not veer off their message. The “true American” are those who are likeminded in their beliefs and not that “wacky” neighbor down the street that will fall for anything their opposing leader says.
We have had Presidents that probably could do a pretty good job teaching us to be an inspiration, if we would just follow their example. But we don’t seem to “buy into” the vision that our leaders should be like that. We expect them to be a Superman type hero.
This man would probably be one of those that I would classify as an inspirational leader. Sadly, even I would probably never think of him as a great President. I, too, must have fallen into that trap of wanting my President to be a celebrity or a hero.
In politics, you just don’t want to appear weak, especially to your opposition. If you do that, it can be political suicide. So when something bad happens to your opponent, you should just laugh at him or belittle him. Humbleness has no place in politics, right?
One evening one of the strong opposition leaders came to the White House with his wife to visit the President. They were invited up to the residence area. The President was known for his love of dogs, so when you made your way up there, you were bound to cross paths with one of those dogs.
One of the President’s dogs, named Ranger, made his way over to the opposition leader. After all, this was his home. To everyone’s surprise, Ranger decided to relieve himself on the opposition leader’s shoes. It might be easy for someone in the President’s position to think, “Well, you deserve that. For all the trouble you have given me, I guess this worked out okay.”
But this President was different. It was a horrible situation and an embarrassment to him. He called for a steward to bring in a cloth and some soapy liquid. When the steward arrived, everyone was shocked when the President got down on his knees to clean up his dog’s mess.
One person after another told him to get up and let the steward clean it up. The opposition leader said, “…you’re the President of the United States, you’re my President. Get off your darn knees.” The President said, “How, can I ask a steward to clean up after the dog?”
When 9-11 happened, this same man was now an ex-President. His son, George W. Bush was now the sitting President. George HW Bush, our forty-first President, just happened to be at the White House that morning of 9-11. His son, President George W. Bush had left for Florida.
Ex-President George HW Bush was up early that morning. He had to leave at 8:30 a.m. because he had a speech in St. Paul, Minnesota. He was in the air when the first plane hit the World Trade Center at 8:45 a.m. The second plane hit the World Trade Center at 9:02 a.m. and everyone now knew it wasn’t an accident.
“Daddy” Bush’s chief of staff, Jean Becker, was obviously very concerned about him and his whereabouts. The Secret Service called to say that he was okay but they couldn’t tell her where he was because the line was not secure. Of course, she knew the government had special very protective places designed for our leaders in times like these.
Later, Becker was able to get in touch with “Daddy” Bush and was able to ask him where he was. He said, “We are at the Hampton Inn outside Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We just ate dinner across the street at Outback Steakhouse.”
Becker was horrified. She must have thought, “Don’t they know who you are? Couldn’t they find a safer place for you?” When she expressed her displeasure to Bush, the ever-humble Bush just replied, “Well, Jean, I don’t think anybody would expect to find us at a Hampton Inn in Milwaukee. We feel safe.”
There are so many George HW Bush stories just like these two. Jean Becker has written a book (The Man I Knew – The Amazing Story of George H.W. Bush’s Post-Presidency) on many of them that happened from the time he became an ex-President until his death.
If George HW Bush was just putting on an act, there would only be a few stories like these. No, Jean Becker has a whole book filled with one story after another of the kindness and humbleness of “Daddy” Bush. In almost every biography I’ve read about President “Daddy” Bush, there are always several stories to back up the claim that he was one of the nicest, and most humble people to ever serve as President. Maybe it is a life like his that should inspire us and not the lives that most current politicians display.
There is a fellow in the Bible that did an excellent job showing us proper way to be an inspiration. He didn’t really have any money to buy things to “show” people he cared. Yet, he seemed to have everything they ever really needed.
He cared, listened, cried, always displayed patience, helped them get closer to God, and helped them when they were in need. Tenderly loving them, he also, without condemning, taught them to give up their hope that their sins or self-centeredness could really make them happy.
Forgiveness was his signature and he never held a grudge. Grudges and bringing things up again were against his policy. When you looked at him in his eyes, you could tell he was never there to beat you down, but to help you get to a loving relationship with God. That is what he lived for.
You might think that if you had a friend like that, you would do anything to keep them as a friend. What do you think he got? People doubted his sincerity and accused him of being holier-than-thou. They mocked him, beat him, and eventually killed him.
Why would they treat him that way? He did nothing but care for them with every ounce of his being. Even in their betrayal, he never spoke a bad word against them. In fact, on his deathbed, he even asked God to forgive them.
His name was Jesus and you will find no better example in the Bible on how to be a great friend, parent, grandparent, mentor, person, or Christian. You know what that means? You need to stop always wanting to ride in the teacup and start wanting to be one of those who inspire those in the teacup.
It’s tough being the inspiring one. Sometimes it is hard and we believe people don’t deserve our patience. But what could be better, at the end of your life, than to have God say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.”
Prayer: Dear Mighty Father, Oh, often I crave that someone notices or cares about me. I forget the many times and the many people who have done just that for me. Yet, I can be stubborn, and freeze into that position where that is all I want. Worse yet, I can feel I deserve it. Instead, let me be the one that inspires. Grant me the strength and patience that is sometimes required to do just that. Amen.
